i dont know anymore

some things seem so easy
but really turn out the hardest things in the world!
but then, do you really know what hard is?

child birth! yea thats a bitch
but you male out there wouldnt know that would you

i miss how things use to be for me

but then, i wouldnt change a thing

talking to my mum today
weird,

being the happy mum i am these days
just sitting there watching bub blow rasberries
i asked the most stupid question EVER!

'íf you could, would you change anything?'

what a blow, yup, she would
change everything!

got me thinking, why would you want to change anything?
i wouldnt
sure im a depressed girl
with a lil 7month old
but, i love every minute

walking her first smile, first word
soon she will crawl!
(army crawling so dose not count)

i miss late nights
boozing it up
dressing outragouse!
and just not caring

but now, i have somthing to bring me home everynight
instead of just not wanting to live

everyday i cherish every screamming ear peircing cry
becouse someday
i'll have a lil girl who can tell me she loves me

i dont know what i want in life
but i do know
i want her to have the best

i may still have a bout of depressive sadness
when i go to bed at night
cold and allone

but then she awakes, and just wants me

she brings me honme at night
when all i want is to drink

if anybodie
in the future
ever asks me

'would you change anything if you could?'

i could with all my heart
say no
couse why would i want to?